Interviewed on Enclave

Eric was featured in the quirky Q&A series, “Chaos Questions,” on Enclave, where interviewer Sheldon Lee Compton asks a variety of authors different chaotic questions each:
ENCLAVE: You were born with a third ear that only appears when it is most needed. How the hell does this thing work?
ERIC SHONKWILER: Have you seen my ears? I think my preternatural third ear got cut in two and sewn onto my normal ears at birth. Them suckers are big. And I can hear like a dog.

E: The aliens actually showed up. They only communicate through images and demand you show them one overall image that explains our civilization. You have five minutes to Google Image search. Show me that image.
ES: It takes me three minutes to change out of my soiled pants and wash off because aliens are one of my childhood fears and turns out I’m not entirely over it. In the remaining two minutes, I manage to find this. Is not that monkey humanity? Are we not just monkeys dressed and stuck behind glass? I think I peed myself again. Aliens are freaky.

E: Pick a book you haven’t read. You’re expected to write a one-paragraph review of that book tomorrow. Let’s see that bullshit review.
ES: ___ ____, The ____ _____er’s Daughter is a modern retelling of the Biblical story of Jabez. Beatrice (Now that I’m in the formula, it’s no one but a Beatrice on the cover.), the protagonist, is tasked with being steadfast and noble while everyone around her is a piece of shit. This continues until Beatrice’s steadfast nobility overcomes the bland selfishness of everyone else, until they see that Beatrice is the greatest person in their lives. Also God was there, and there’s the tiniest bit of magical realism, like a bunch of butterflies show up out of the blue and land on Beatrice’s daughter’s grave. This was a great book. Just great.”

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